Posted May 24 , 2010
As a parent, it is so easy to drift into the habit of seeing what our children do wrong and letting what they do right slip by us. Because we love them so much and know that poor choices and harmful actions will hurt them, we feel responsible to correct behavior often.
One concept that can help bring balance to our parenting is to think of the child like a bank account. When we correct and discipline the child, it’s like making a withdrawal. When we acknowledge and draw attention to good actions, attitudes, or character, it’s like making a deposit.
Banks are kind of funny about things. They do not mind at all that we make withdrawals. However, they are rather picky about us making withdrawals if we haven’t made enough deposits. They call it being “overdrawn” and impose some pretty stiff penalties for doing so.
When the report card comes home, do our eyes and comments go straight to the poor grade? When they do a chore, do we tend to highlight the shortcomings? On the way home after the game, what is the focus of our conversation?
It is inevitable that we will have to make some “withdrawals” with our children. If we have a consistent pattern of regular “deposits”, the withdrawal is accepted in a favorable manner.
If you take an honest look at your “account” with each of your children, and you conclude you need to make more deposits, it will take a deliberate, intentional effort. Consistent, regular and genuine “deposits” are most effective.
Think about it. God set the example. Take a moment to read John 3:16 and then see what the very next verse (17) says. Talk about making a “deposit in our account”.
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